Being a man in Amenica

What is a man, other than a human with a male physique? Our culture, supported by our innate need for ideals, created an ideal of manhood by selecting goals in every category (fashion, activities, speech, and emotions) that are to be pursued only by men. The idea of “being” a man is therefore defined by the degree to which a male can pursue and identify with these “man-like” ideals.

This ideal of manhood is disconnected from the reality of “being” a man, since each individual man has a wide range of lifestyles, interests, identities, many of which are dissimilar from the goals identified by manhood.

Being a man in a highly physical American consumer culture relates as much to the consumption of ideas, products and identities as much as gender roles at various stages of life. We will look at this consumption aspect first.

Media Consumption

Generations obsessed over Indiana Jones 

The media consumption in line with solid manhood focuses around three genres: action/adventure, comedy, and thriller/horror. While American men openly enjoy two quick blinks of romance buried in an action show/movie/book/comic/song, romance is viewed as excessively feminine by American culture, which opposes the idea of manhood. Comedy is masculine (note clips shown in film trailers) if it arrives at the expense of another’s manhood and honor (which supports one’s own ego).

Activities

Sports, violence (not that they are mutually exclusive) form the base for all activities that verify manhood. I recall a poll of American high-school students that revealed most men and less than half of women view sports as a competition, while most women and few men viewed as mainly about exercise or fun. An online Newsweek feature said:

“War has been, for almost all peoples and all times, the purest test of manhood…How many men, over how many millennia, have wanted to know how they would do in combat? Would they be brave and fight? Or would they cringe and run?”

The attraction of sport lies in conflict

Physical, individual confrontation tie all games, weapons and guns, all sports, militarism, “bigger-and-better” arms-race consumerism, and betting/gambling together to manhood. What men mean/become to themselves and each other is achieved through tests of manhood – competitions of courage, intimidation and physical strength. This is why women who engage in this are seen as unfeminine – reference lack of female professional sports, Hillary Clinton, Merkel, Thatcher, and female suicide bombers on the cover of the New York Times.

Adolescence/Independence

The young man, independent man, plays a different role and thus is a different man than a married man. His ideal role can be evaluated from present-day television dramas that highlight or exaggerate realities of American culture and lifestyle.

Desperate Housewives follows and develops a range of adolescent and independent male characters; Andrew, Preston and Porter are the most consistent ones,appearing for countless seasons. The young  men create a narrative of manhood through their interactions with masculine activities or culture.